Writing - Abandoned Places

Examples of Descriptive Writing

The Blond Guitar by Jeremy Burden

My most valuable possession is an old, slightly warped blond guitar--the first instrument I taught myself how to play. It's nothing fancy, just a Madeira folk guitar, all scuffed and scratched and finger-printed. At the top is a bramble of copper-wound strings, each one hooked through the eye of a silver tuning key. The strings are stretched down a long, slim neck, its frets tarnished, the wood worn by years of fingers pressing chords and picking notes. The body of the Madeira is shaped like an enormous yellow pear, one that was slightly damaged in shipping. The blond wood has been chipped and gouged to gray, particularly where the pick guard fell off years ago. No, it's not a beautiful instrument, but it still lets me make music, and for that I will always treasure it.

The writer focus' on the physical appearance of the guitar.

Gregory by Barbara Carter

Gregory is my beautiful gray Persian cat. He walks with pride and grace, performing a dance of disdain as he slowly lifts and lowers each paw with the delicacy of a ballet dancer. His pride, however, does not extend to his appearance, for he spends most of his time indoors watching television and growing fat. He enjoys TV commercials, especially those for Meow Mix and 9 Lives. His familiarity with cat food commercials has led him to reject generic brands of cat food in favor of only the most expensive brands. Gregory is as finicky about visitors as he is about what he eats, befriending some and repelling others. He may snuggle up against your ankle, begging to be petted, or he may imitate a skunk and stain your favorite trousers. Gregory does not do this to establish his territory, as many cat experts think, but to humiliate me because he is jealous of my friends. After my guests have fled, I look at the old fleabag snoozing and smiling to himself in front of the television set, and I have to forgive him for his obnoxious, but endearing, habits.

The writer focuses less on the physical appearance of her pet than on the cat's habits and action.

Reference: http://grammar.about.com

Week 6

Tips of Descriptive Writing

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2. Tips on Writing a Descriptive Writing
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5. Writers use the descriptive writing to create a vivid picture of a person, place, or thing. Unlike a narrative piece, which reveals meaning through a personal story, the purpose of a descriptive essay is to reveal the meaning of a subject through detailed, sensory observation. The descriptive writing uses the power of language and all the human senses to bring a subject to life for the reader.

   If readers come away from a descriptive writing with the feeling that they have really met a person, gone to a particular place, or held a certain object, the writer has done a good job. If readers also feel an emotional connection and deep appreciation for the subject’s significance, the writer has done a great job.

   The Five-Step Writing Process for Descriptive Writing
   Writers know one thing: Writing takes work. Understanding and following the steps of the writing process helps all writers. Here are descriptive essay writing tips for each phase of the writing process:

   1. Planning
   In the planning phase of descriptive writing, spend time thinking about the qualities you want to describe. Brainstorm about all the details associated with the topic. Even when not writing about a place, reflect on the surroundings. Where is the object located? Where does the person live? Consider not just physical characteristics, but also what memories, feelings, and ideas the subject evokes. Memory and emotion play an important role in conveying the subject’s significance. Plan the focus of each paragraph and create an outline that puts these details into a logical sequence.

   2. Drafting 
   When creating the initial draft of a descriptive writing, follow the outline, but remember, the goal is to give the reader a rich experience of the subject. Keep in mind, the most important watchword of writing a descriptive essay is show,don’t tell. One of the best ways to show is to involve all of the senses—not just sight, but also hearing, touch, smell, and taste. Write so the reader will see the sunset, hear the song, smell the flowers, taste the pie, or feel the touch of a hand.

   
   

   Don’t Tell…Show!

   Use descriptive and figurative language, as well as concrete images to describe the subject. Similes and metaphors work well. Here are some examples:
   

   Telling

   The house was old.

   Showing

   The house frowned with a wrinkled brow, and inside it creaked with each step, releasing a scent of neglected laundry.

   He was smart.

   If you had to pick a study buddy, you would pick this guy.

   The clock had been in our family for years.

   The clock stood by our family, faithfully marking the minutes and hours of our lives.

   A descriptive essay doesn’t rely on facts and examples, but on the writer’s ability to create a mental picture for the reader.

   3. Crafting 
   In the editing phase, review, modify, and reorganize your work with the goal of making it the best it can be. In revising a descriptive writing, you should reread your work with these considerations in mind:

   • Does the writing unfold in a way that helps the reader fully appreciate the subject? Do any paragraphs confuse more than describe?
   • Does the word choice and figurative language involve the five senses and convey emotion and meaning?
   • Are there enough details to give the reader a complete picture?
   • Has a connection been made between the description and its meaning to the writer? Will the reader be able to identify with the conclusion made?

   Always keep the reader in mind from opening to concluding a paragraph. A descriptive essay must be precise in its detail, yet not get ahead of itself. It’s better to go from the general to the specific. Otherwise, the reader will have trouble building the image in their mind’s eye. For example, don’t describe a glossy coat of fur before telling the reader the essay is about a dog!

   4. Editing
   At this point in the writing process, proofread and correct errors in grammar and spelling. It’s also the time to improve style and clarity. Watch out for clichés and loading up on adjectives and adverbs. Having a friend read the essay helps writers see trouble spots and edit with a fresh perspective.

   5. Publishing
   Sharing a descriptive essay with the rest of the class can be both exciting and a bit scary. Remember, there isn’t a writer on earth who isn’t sensitive about their own work. The important thing is to learn from the experience and take whatever feedback is given to make the next essay even better.
6. Reference: http://www.time4writing.com/writing-resources/descriptive-essay/
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Writing - Written Language Features

On your Written Language Features presentation create a new slide for each of the following...

• similes
• metaphors
• personification
• alliteration

You need to give a definition, explanation, 5 examples, and a visual example.
Remember that you need to reference your definition or any work you have used from a different source. 

referenced: https://kimberlybiochemist.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/sweet-as-honey.gif

Word of the Week - Copious

Weekly Writing - Duck Song

The Duck Song - Bryant Oden

You are to write a story song using the music of the Duck Song to tell a story about something at school. I have shared with you a document on google classroom called the duck song which has the original lyrics from Bryant Oden's Duck Song to help you.  

You will perform your song so here is an instrumental version for your to practice!

Due: Monday 1 September 2014

Reading - Ezra's greatest gift

After reading "Ezra's Greatest Gift" create a Multi Flow Thinking Map to explain the cause and effects of Ezra's parents decision. (Complete in your big ideas book) 

My Old School Shoes (Connection Video)

Digital Thinking Map (on Lucid Chart)

Download......

available in the google...

Using Lucid Chart create a digital copy of your Thinking Map of the "One act of kindness change my life article"

Due: Friday 21.08.12

"One act of Kindness changed my life"

Using article below create a Multi-Flow Thinking Map to explain the causes and effects of the events on Richmond Wandra's life. 

Big Idea - Thinking Maps

Using the right thinking map?

Click on the link below to understand how each of the thinks maps work.
Choosing a Thinking Map

Word of the Week - Gobbledegook

Big Idea - Connection

Connections...

Inquiry Model...

Word of the Week - Grotesque

Big Ideas - Connections

Connections...

IQ's Inquiry Questions
So far you have an area or topic of interest. Now you create a question to guide your inquiry.
Your question should not be a question that can be answered simply in a sentence or two.

Some IQ's......
 What ingenious ideas will enable householders to reduce their carbon footprint on the planet?
 What ingenious processes are involved in authentically rejuvenating an antique wardrobe?
 How have ingenious humans developed human flight over time and what might the future hold?
 What can be done to improve access to all areas of our school for students with physical movement disabilities?
 What factors and clever strategies enable a performer to excel in a performance?
 What materials can surfboard designers use to ensure that future surfboards are friendly to the environment?
 Is the school’s use of resources efficient or wasteful and what can be done to improve the
existing situation?
 What are the best environmental conditions for rearing cockatiels in captivity and why are those conditions effective?
 Why all Australians should be concerned about the Murray River system and what should be done to repair it?
 How can I positively improve the current environment within my family’s home?
 What strategies and techniques can students use to more effectively manage and complete homework?
 How can a coach effectively improve the individual and team ball-handling skills of junior baseball players?
 How might our school enable all students to become proficient with Information and Communication Technologies?
 What could teachers do to make learning experiences more enjoyable and effective for Middle School students at our school?
 Why is it important to train a dog and what are effective ways to achieve this aim?

Big Idea - Connections

Connections...

Reflection on Connection

The "Reflection on Connection"  Journal is a document of your journey through your inquiry.

The "Reflection on Connection" consists of dated entries recording ideas, planning, discussions,
clippings of readings and concepts, written excerpts, websites visited, meetings and outcomes with Mr Norman, photographs – anything that is part of the process should be kept in this document. It is important that updates and reflections are completed regularly. 

The "Reflection on Connection" Journal is for....
 developing ideas
 planning
 recording interactions with sources, for example teachers, supervisors and other contributors
 storing information, photos, quotes, ideas/concepts, drawings, clippings, photographs, website visited, and information gathered from investigations
 keeping copies of interviews and discussions with people
 reflecting on the stages of the project
 evaluating work and reflecting on learning

The "Reflection on Connection" Journal is NOT ....
 something to be written up after the process has been completed
 additional work; it is a part of the project
 a diary
 a good copy; it is a working

Questions that may help you write entries in your "Reflection on Connection" Journal:
• What have I achieved today?
• What resources have I consulted?
• What challenges or difficulties have I encountered and how do I solve them?
• What are my goals? How am I achieving them?
• Where am I in relation to the time line?

Some sentence starters:
Today I…
• investigated
• researched
• modified
• attempted
• noticed
• was frustrated by
• was challenged by
• was encouraged or inspired by
• found out
• tried
• thought about
• went to
• decided to
• talked to
• interviewed

Example of a "Reflection on Connection" journal entry:
Oct. 25, 2011
Today I went to Lynn Valley library and took out some books on baking and cake design. I also looked up online the names of a few bakeries, “Cakeworks” and Cupcakes”. I am going to call each bakery to see if I can do some interviews. I am really hoping that they will be available for interviews because this will help my references.One thing I really need to figure out is all the supplies I might need to create a cake
decorated with fondant. Perhaps the interviews will help me make a list.So far I have: cake pans, food ingredients, fondant, rolling pin and decorations. References for my bibliography: www.cakeworks.ca and www.cupcakesbakery.com.

Note that the Process Journal entry is dated, personal, records websites of potential references, lists supplies and reflective.

Reference: Adapted from the Carson Graham Secondary Personal Project Student Guide 2013-2014